Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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