C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
