what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
