it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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