You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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