Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
