Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
