she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
