How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
