so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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