Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
