That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
