I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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