wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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