She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
