Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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