he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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