The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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