i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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