Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
