i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Text me some of your sweat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
