My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
