Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
