READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
