is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
