I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
