When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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