some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
