I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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