Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
