Im at strip club and am horny
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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