Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
