apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
