I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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