i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dicks are not precious.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
