Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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