Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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