I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
