i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
