i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
