He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sext me about skeletons
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
