jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
