I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
