Do you still have your period?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
