He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
