I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
