So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
