Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
