moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
