She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
