they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
