just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
