You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
