can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
