He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
